


5 Things That Never Happened to Kira Nerys

by Rocky_T



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 21:25:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocky_T/pseuds/Rocky_T
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 AU's involving the title character.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Justice

**Author's Note:**

> For Seema.

"Bring in the prisoner," Commander Sisko said wearily. As if he didn't have enough to deal with in the aftermath of the Cardassian Occupation--helping the fragile provisional government take control of a devastated Bajor was no easy task--here was another complication.

The young woman was still struggling as she was brought in, managing to deliver a well-placed kick to the groin of one of her guards, who doubled over in pain. The other man brought his weapon up instinctively, only lowering it at Sisko's sharply barked order.

"That's enough, Lieutenant!" Sisko waited a moment. "You can release her."

"But, sir--"

Sisko eyed the heavy manacles on the prisoner's wrists. "It's all right. I don't think she can do any more harm at the moment."

The Starfleet guards were too well-trained to voice their resentment; they retreated a few feet away, never taking their eyes off the prisoner.

Sisko pressed a control on his console to begin recording the interrogation session. "Name?"

A stony silence was the only response.

Sisko waited. A full minute went by before the woman raised her head and defiantly met his gaze. Her disheveled dark hair partially obscured her features, but Sisko could see a dark bruise along the side of her jaw. Her lower lip was puffy and swollen. He couldn't help hoping it hadn't been Starfleet responsible for her injuries.

Consulting a PADD, Sisko said, "You were picked up this morning outside the Gednak refinery, following an explosion which leveled a major wing of the facility and killed three people, injuring 12 others." He paused. "The victims were mostly Bajoran."

The prisoner might have flinched. Sisko wouldn't have bet on it, though.

"This is just the most recent in a spate of bombings and sabotage over the past month. The Gednak refinery, like all the other sites, was built by the Cardassians and slated to be turned over to Bajoran control shortly as per the terms regarding the ending of the Occupation." He lowered the PADD. "You weren't striking a blow against the Cardassians--but your own people. Hampering the efforts to rebuild your planet."

He strode over to the prisoner and in a sudden motion, forced her head up. "I want to know why."

She spat in his face.

Sisko held up his hand, waving off the guards. He wiped his face and then took his seat once more.

"The war is over, Kira." At the prisoner's involuntary start, he continued, "Yes, we were able to identify you. Kira Nerys, age 26, a product of the Singha refugee camp, daughter of Kira Taban and Kira Meru, both deceased. No other surviving family. Recruited into the Shakaar resistance cell in 2355 by Lorit Akrem, also deceased now as are most of your 'colleagues.' During the last decade you've been very busy--your rap sheet is longer than most people's complete biographies."

Kira finally spoke, her voice heavy with sarcasm. "Thanks."

"It wasn't a compliment," Sisko said harshly. "For every raid like the one on the Gallitep labor camp--which arguably accomplished some good--there was an attack which indiscriminately slaughtered Cardassian civilians and soldiers alike. I suppose you feel you were successful at driving out the enemy, by matching their destructiveness and brutality. Never mind the 'collateral damage' of innocent lives lost in the process."

"There are no innocent victims in wartime," Kira said angrily. "The Cardassians had no business on Bajor, raping our planet and culture, enslaving our people. What they got was no less than they deserved. We were fighting for our very existence!"

"One man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist," Sisko said, his mouth tightening. "Whether or not you feel the end justified the means. But in the end, it wasn't your 'uprising' which led to the Cardassians' withdrawal. The end of the Occupation was brought about the way wars always end, by negotiations and compromises."

"Coming from a member of Starfleet, you'll forgive me if I don't believe you."

Sisko smiled briefly. "Starfleet's aims include scientific exploration as well as defense. Despite what you may have heard, we are not interested in military conquest."

"As opposed to the Cardassians?"

"We're not like the Cardassians," Sisko said.

"So you say," Kira said, her eyes flashing. "But you're only too happy to step into their shoes now, aren't you?"

"Our presence here is not as an occupying force. We're here to provide humanitarian aid."

"With armed soldiers?"

"Conditions are still chaotic," Sisko said, striving to keep his tone even. "And for the record, our officers are also trained in relief efforts."

"Then why have you taken control of Terek Nor instead of ceding its control to Bajor? It seems Starfleet is interested in maintaining a permanent _military_ presence."

This was getting out of hand. "Look, Kira, we are not your enemy! Our interest is solely to help Bajor recover!"

"And the Federation's plans for annexing Bajor? Is this part of our recovery?"

"Representatives of your planet have inquired about the possibility of _joining_ the Federation. Not being forcibly annexed. Bajor's independence is not going to be threatened or compromised in any way!" Sisko had partly risen from his seat during her last accusation and now sank back down. "But yes, my orders do include evaluating the feasibility of Bajor's membership and helping to facilitate their entry." 

Kira made a derisive sound. 

"You claim to be a patriot, Kira. But you're the one harming your people, not I." 

"I'm fighting for my people's freedom, their right to exist without any outside interference! Not Cardassia, not the Federation, not anyone! We don't want--or need--your help."

"Not everyone feels the way you do. In fact, you're in the minority."

"You've been here for how long, Commander? Two weeks, a month at most? And yet, you presume to tell me how the Bajoran people feel?" Kira shook her head. "Aside from those toadies in the provisional government--several of whom were known collaborators and traitors--who else is supporting your presence here?"

"Shakaar Edon, for one." 

Kira gave a bitter laugh. "Shakaar Edon was killed six weeks ago in an ambush in the Dahkur province." She clenched her fists. "We have since paid back the Cardassian scum responsible."

"You're wrong," Sisko said quietly. "Shakaar was captured, not killed, and was turned over to our forces as part of a prisoner exchange. I assure you he's alive and well."

Kira recovered quickly. "Even if it's true he's not dead, am I supposed to accept your word Shakaar has been converted to your cause, that he was willing to sell out his beliefs in exchange for his freedom?"

"Shakaar is committed to working for the good of his people, as he always was. But now he realizes fighting is no longer necessary."

"And I suppose he'll tell me this himself?" Kira's voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"He will."

"When?" Kira demanded.

"That will have to wait for a bit, unfortunately," Sisko said, adding, "At the moment Shakaar is on Terek Nor, or as it is now called, Deep Space Nine."

"As a prisoner?"

"No. Shakaar is preparing to take up his duties as the Bajoran liaison to Starfleet and second-in-command of the station."

A look of uncertainty passed over Kira's face but vanished swiftly. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"You'll have plenty of time for contemplating just how much things have changed, I can assure you." Sisko rose once more and gestured to the guards. "Take her away."


	2. Fortitude

"With all due respect, Major, I'm not sure you understand what's at stake here."

Kira resented the way the man leaned so casually on the corner of her desk, the superior attitude he'd exuded the moment he entered her office. So typical of Starfleet. "Oh, believe me, Captain Sisko, I do," she said coolly. 

"If you're counting on Bajor's neutrality to protect you, you're mistaken," Sisko said, his deep voice carrying more than a hint of irritation. 

Kira thought back to the stir created when Bajor turned down membership in the Federation right after the Occupation ended. Of course Bajor wasn't going to trade Cardassian rule for Federation rule, and that's exactly how the proposal had sounded. To this day, Bajor's refusal clearly still rankled with Starfleet--if this captain's demeanor was anything to go by.

"It's no secret my government signed a non-aggression treaty with the Dominion," she said, watching Sisko carefully for signs of discomfort, "but it has not been ratified yet. The vote in the Assembly could go either way."

"It will pass," Sisko said dismissively as he straightened up. He took a few steps toward the viewport, through which her home planet could be seen serenely rotating in space. "It's a well-known fact the First Minister is a strong proponent of 'Bajor for Bajorans.' But for all their vaunted self-reliance, your people can't possibly stand against the might of the Dominion by yourselves."

"We have no plans to fight the Dominion, Captain, so if you're here to negotiate an alliance--"

"You won't be able to stay neutral for very long. Your location--and proximity to the wormhole--is too strategic. Sooner or later the Dominion is going to decide to place an occupying force here. And there won't be anything you can do to stop it."

"So instead we should allow ourselves to be occupied by the Federation?" Kira said, noting he hadn't denied the idea of an alliance. "We refused your 'offer' to take control of Terek Nor when the Cardassians left six years ago. Why should we invite you in now?"

"Because we're a better alternative than having the Cardassians back," Sisko said, meeting her gaze squarely. "You're kidding yourself if you think that won't happen."

She didn't look away. "I cannot allow you to garrison troops here. This is a Bajoran station and will remain under Bajoran control."

Sisko's lip curled as if he'd been expecting her to say exactly that. However, instead of continuing the argument, he said, "That's not my purpose." 

Kira struggled to contain her surprise. "Then what is?"

"A courtesy call, if you will," Sisko said. He leaned forward, his palms flat against her desktop. "Whether you're with us or not, the Federation will not stand idly by while the Dominion continues strengthening its position in the Alpha Quadrant." 

Kira was aware scarcely a week went by without another convoy of Dominion ships emerging from the wormhole on their way to Cardassia. Fleetingly, she cursed the name of the Emissary who had first discovered the entrance to the Celestial Temple--and died soon after for his pains. "So what do you plan on doing? Lead an armada to the Gamma Quadrant and attack the Dominion at home?"

Sisko shook his head. "We haven't got the forces, and frankly after the last 'incursion' to attack the Founders' homeworld, it's too dangerous a plan to carry out even if we wanted to." He paused. "No, what we're proposing is to sever contact between the Gamma and Alpha Quadrants, prevent their ships from freely traveling back and forth."

This would also enable Starfleet to bottle up the existing Dominion forces near Cardassia. "And just how do you propose to do that?" she asked.

"Mine the entrance to the wormhole."

Kira stared at him, aghast. "You can't do that!"

If Sisko was surprised by her reaction, he gave no sign. "Logistically, it will work. Ever since the existence of the Dominion--and their hostile intentions--became known, this has always been an option. Recent advances in phase-cloaking technology mean it's finally feasible."

"I don't give a damn whether it's feasible or not," Kira said heatedly. "Let me rephrase: we will not allow you to do it!"

"I'm not asking you, Major, I'm telling you." Sisko took a deep breath. "This is going to happen, with or without your approval."

Kira thought quickly. "It will take time for you to set the mines in place. You're assuming the Bajoran spacefleet is going to stand idly by."

Sisko smiled wryly. "I don't think you'll be suicidal enough to attack our ships."

"What if I alert the Dominion to your plans?" Kira countered.

"Even if you were foolish enough to do so, it will take a few hours for the Dominion to send a warship--let alone a fleet--here," Sisko said confidently. "According to recent intelligence, the nearest heavy cruiser is in the Katif sector, closer to Cardassia than Bajor. By the time any help arrives, we'll have finished." Kira caught the unspoken implication: the process had already begun. "And it will be no easy matter to deactivate the network once it's in place. For every mine destroyed, another two will take its place."

Sisko had all the answers. Kira leaned forward. "Don't you want to know what my objection is? What I know for a fact will be the objection of all of Bajor?"

Sisko shrugged. "You're concerned about maintaining your planet's status as a non-combatant. But that shouldn't be a problem--you can tell the Dominion representatives exactly what I've told you, that you didn't condone our actions and were powerless to stop us." He paused. "Not that it will make a difference in the long run. When the Dominion decides Bajor has become a liability, or it would be in their interest to be in possession of this strategic region of space, they'll do so without the slightest hesitation. Non-aggression pact or not, it's all the same. The Dominion's ultimate goal is conquest of the _entire_ Alpha Quadrant. Of course, they'll probably delegate the task of subduing your people to their Cardassian allies--who will be only too happy to take control of Bajor once again."

It was always the same thing, Kira thought in despair, submit to the Federation or else to the Cardassians. They had to break out of this vicious cycle somehow. She recalled how the Federation always played lip service to the rights of other species and cultures to determine their own destinies. Too bad it didn't work that way in reality.

Sisko's expression softened, making Kira wonder if he somehow picked up on what she was thinking. "I'm sorry, Major, but this is war and we can't afford the luxury--"

"--of taking another culture's sensibilities into consideration?" Kira said in disgust. "I understand all too well." A thought struck her. "Tell me something, Captain Sisko. Do you consider yourself a religious man?"

Sisko smiled wryly. "Do you mean do I believe that some higher power is controlling my destiny?"

"Do you?"

"No, I can't say that I do. Events happen or don't happen due to a random set of circumstances. Which isn't to say one individual or group can't make a difference, change the outcome by choosing one course of action over another. But I'm afraid I don't believe in divine intervention."

"Do you believe in something more powerful than yourself?"

Sisko frowned. "Certainly we have encountered alien species more highly evolved than we are. The Organians, the Melkotians, the Q--to name just a few. And there is no denying more primitive societies may worship them as gods, but that doesn't mean they are, or they concern themselves with the welfare of those societies."

Kira held up a hand. "It's not up to you to determine if gods really exist. Surely that doesn't fall under the heading of your Prime Directive."

"The Jem'Hadar and the Vorta worship the Founders as gods," Sisko said dismissively. "But that doesn't mean the Federation must also accept them, to the point of allowing the Dominion to overrun our section of the galaxy and be enslaved by them."

"It's also not your role to deliberately violate or profane the religious beliefs of another culture," Kira answered. "To you it's an artificial wormhole, and whoever created it is just a group of advanced aliens. But to my people, it's the Celestial Temple inhabited by those we know as the Prophets, who have spoken to us and revealed their will through the Orbs and hundreds of prophecies written down throughout the generations." She straightened up. "Therefore, I cannot allow you to desecrate the Temple by placing mines at its entrance, risk cutting us off from our gods."

Sisko was silent for a moment. "Believe me, Major, I'm not unsympathetic. I try to be tolerant of other cultures' religious beliefs, but I won't protect your tenets of faith at the expense of people's lives. The decision has been made and at this moment is being carried out. Perhaps your gods will understand--or do you feel they will hold our actions against you?"

"I'm not a vedek. I don't presume to interpret the will of the Prophets."

"But your Kai does. If the Prophets haven't objected to having their Temple used as a conduit across thousands of light years of space, why should they object to our putting a stop to this traffic? In fact, they may prefer it this way, as they will be left undisturbed once more."

It didn't surprise Kira the craven power-hungry woman who currently held the title of Bajor's chief spiritual leader had given her ascent to the plan. Kira thought of the allegations--never proven but never quite laid to rest, either--which had surfaced shortly after Bajor's declaration of independence: the Kai had collaborated with the Cardassians during the Occupation. Opaka had made no secret of her eagerness for joining the Federation, no doubt seeing this as an opportunity to expand her sphere of influence beyond Bajor, and had been sorely disappointed. She would probably agree to anything in an attempt to curry favor with the current dominant power.

"Captain, please--"

"I'm sorry, I really am, Major," Sisko said. He sounded so sincere she could almost believe him. "But there is no other alternative. It's in your own best interest as well as ours." He turned to go.

"There are always alternatives," Kira said stubbornly.

Sisko stopped by the door. "If you're counting on your gods to save you from the Dominion, let me ask you this: why did they stand by and allow the Occupation, over half a century of misery, to occur?"

For that, Kira had no answer.


	3. Hope

Kira glanced quickly around the corner, relieved to see the corridor was clear. She motioned to Rom to proceed. "Hurry!"

"I thought we didn't want to attract any attention," Rom said, huffing with the effort of keeping up with her. "If we run into any Jem'Hadar or Cardassians, they'll be bound to wonder where we're going. And what if they ask me to explain my toolkit--"

Kira bit back a sarcastic retort. "You're an engineer, Rom, and station maintenance is your job. No one's going to question you. And I doubt we'll see any soldiers near the deflector."

"What about Damar or Weyoun--"

"They're too excited about the possibility of neutralizing the mine field," Kira said. "They're probably all clustered in Ops right now." She checked her chrono. The attempt was due to happen in just a few minutes. "Come on, we've got to hurry. Odo is set to take down the alarm at exactly 0800, for 90 seconds." Any longer disruption would automatically show up on the monitor at Ops. "That will give you just enough time to disable the deflector."

They arrived at their destination. Kira took a position from where she could watch the corridors and yet was more or less concealed in shadows. She glanced over her shoulder at Rom, who had placed his toolkit on the floor and squatted down, preparing to remove the access plate on the bulkhead. She resisted the urge to once more tell him to hurry; she shifted position, feeling the small phaser she'd concealed under her tunic, and taking comfort from its solidity.

The access panel was off, revealing the circuitry controlling the main deflector. Rom picked up a hyperspanner and bent over. Suddenly he pulled back.

"Major!" he exclaimed. "We've got a problem!"

"Keep your voice down!" Kira hissed. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"The alarm is still fully operational."

"But that's impossible," Kira said blankly. 

"See for yourself," Rom said, stepping aside. Sure enough, Kira saw a row of four green lights shining steadily back at her, signifying the alarm system was active and any tampering would be detected instantly. Those lights should have been red. She checked her chrono: 0801. Yes, they definitely should have turned red by now.

"Damn," she said. "Odo must have been delayed somehow..." She glanced down once again at the console. The lights were still green. It was now or never. "You can't disable it?" 

"Not unless you want a whole lot of company very quickly."

"Not the deflector, the alarm system. Can you do that from here, and _then_ work on the deflector?"

Rom shook his head dolefully. "Sorry, Major. That can only be done from Security."

Kira bit her lip, weighing the consequences of their possible courses of action. Risky as their plan had been--and Kira had been aware from the beginning just how many ways it could go wrong--it still represented the last best hope for the Alpha Quadrant. Any moment now the Dominion would succeed in using the deflector to deactivate the minefield at the entrance to the wormhole--allowing an immense armada to emerge and engulf the already beleaguered Federation forces.

The sound of footsteps in the corridor made her snap to attention. Her hand had gone to her concealed weapon when a lone figure stepped into view.

"Odo!" Kira said in relief, dropping her hand to her side. "What happened? Rom says--"

"Step away from the console, Nerys," Odo said, his tone gentle but firm. He nodded at Rom. "Both of you."

"What are you talking about?" Kira said. "Odo, we've got to disable the deflector!" She was about to say something further, when suddenly, she realized Odo was not alone.

There were two Jem'Hadar guards with him.

"Odo, what are you doing?" Kira said sharply.

Odo met her eyes. "I'm sorry, Nerys." He gestured to the guards. "Take the Ferengi to a holding cell."

"What of the other one, Founder?" 

"Leave her to me," Odo said. 

Kira heard Rom's squeal of terror, was only dimly aware of him falling to his knees at her side as the Jem'Hadar approached. She stared at the man standing in front of her--once her dearest friend, her lover--in total shock.

"How can you do this?" she said. "Do you realize what will happen once the minefield goes down? What you're doing will change the entire course of this war, condemn the Alpha Quadrant to horrifying loss and devastation! Where's your loyalty, Odo?"

Odo did not sound regretful as he answered, "Where it should be, with my people."

"I thought _we_ were your people."

"I don't expect you to understand."

At that moment there was a bright flash. First one, then the other Jem'Hadar collapsed to the floor, screaming in agony. There was an acrid smell of burning flesh in the air. Rom stood up, his face pale with fear, clutching a still-sparking laser welder in his fist.

Without missing a beat, Kira drew her phaser. "Get to the runabout, Rom. Tell the others I'll be there shortly." She gave him a shove. "Move!"

Odo took a step forward. "Nerys--"

Kira fired.

As the energy beam hit, Odo's solid form lost coherency, coalesced to a liquid that shimmered first gold, then a sickly green then gray. A moment later, all that was left was a small mound of ash.

Rom's mouth sagged open in horror. "Let's go," Kira said hoarsely.

"But--"

"I said, let's go!"

Quark was waiting at the airlock when they got there, his anxiety apparent. "Major, what--"

"No time! We've got to get out of here!" Kira roughly brushed past him. Wisely, Quark said nothing further until they had taken off and the station was rapidly receding behind them.

"I always knew your hare-brained plan wasn't going to work," he said. "At least there's no sign of pursuit. For now." Quark absently stroked his lobes, as if to reassure himself they were still attached. "What about Odo?"

Kira exchanged a glance with Rom. "He didn't make it," she said quietly.


	4. Faith

"The Major has arrived," the Ranjin said dourly.

"Thank you, Solber," the Kai said, laying aside the ancient scroll she had been perusing. Her hand went to the high gold turban, symbol of her authority, making sure it was straight. It was an automatic gesture, one the Kai no longer was consciously aware of. "Please show her in."

A moment later, the Major strode in, her head held high. "Eminence."

No humility in that one, the Kai thought, and repressed a sigh. "My child. I trust all is well with you?"

The Major's lips tightened. "As well as can be expected, considering our current situation."

The war was not going well, the Kai knew full well. Doubtless the situation on board the station was tense. Day after day, without halt--or so it seemed--more Dominion forces crossed through from the Gamma Quadrant, swelling the numbers already present. Even without her access to the diplomatic channel and communiqués, the Kai knew the Federation was losing. A pragmatic woman, the Kai would ordinarily shed no tears over the thought of Starfleet's defeat. However, for all its carefully preserved status as a neutral party, Bajor would not long endure if the Dominion--and its allies, the Cardassians--triumphed. The Kai assumed a sympathetic expression. "It will be as the Prophets wish, my child."

The Major did not look as though she found that statement comforting. "The Prophets do not willingly reveal their secrets. It is difficult at times to believe they concern themselves overmuch with our affairs."

It was a sentiment the Kai herself had felt on more than one occasion, but she had no intention of making that admission to anyone, let alone the woman who stood before her. "You must be strong, my child, and remain steadfast in your faith," the Kai said mildly.

"Yes, Eminence," the Major answered, bowing her head in token of submission, but the Kai was not fooled. She waited for the Major to announce the purpose of her visit.

"Do you have a message for me from the Emissary?" the Kai asked at last.

The Major stiffened. It was no secret that she and Sisko did not see eye to eye in many respects; the Kai considered it one of the more enduring mysteries of modern times how the two of them had managed to work together for so long. "No, Eminence, I am here on a...personal matter."

The Kai kept her expression schooled to indifference. A personal matter? Since when were she and the Major such intimate friends that the Major felt comfortable enough to ask a favor? The Major had never hidden her enmity for the future Kai from the very first time their paths had crossed, had been quite vocal in her opposition during the contested election for the highest spiritual office in the land. It was no secret the Major would have preferred to see her lover Bareil Antos as Kai; her quest for power would have continued unchecked.

"What is it you wish, my child?"

"To take the Orb of Prophecy back to Deep Space Nine."

The Kai was startled. "What is the meaning behind your request? You say you were not sent by the Emissary?"

"No."

The Kai was silent for a moment, observing the proud figure before her. "There are two separate issues to consider," she said quietly, her eyes never leaving the Major's face. "One is, of course, the removal of the Orb. With the war going the way it is, the station may soon be overtaken by the Dominion." It was the Major's turn to start. "It is no secret that Starfleet's forces are spread very thin. If they choose to abandon the station, how can anyone safeguard the Orb, guarantee its return to Bajor? No, it is too precious an artifact to be allowed to leave the Sacred Temple. Even for a 'good' purpose," she said meaningfully. "And who will be using it? The Emissary _may_ have some claim--after all, the Prophets have declared he is 'of Bajor', for all that he is Human. But it is not he who makes this request."

The Major looked more ill at ease than the Kai had ever seen her. "No, Eminence, he does not. It is I who wish to look into the Orb." 

"You, my child?" the Kai said in surprise. "Looking into the Orb, opening oneself to the words of the Prophets is not something to be undertaken lightly. It is only through intensive training that one can achieve a state of spiritual purity to even hope the Prophets may reveal themselves. It can be dangerous for the lay person to even attempt such a thing."

The Major clasped her hands behind her back, stood with her legs slightly apart. She gave the impression of bracing herself for a blow. "I know all this, Eminence. But you must understand...I have prayed to the Prophets for a long time for guidance, but they have not answered me." Her voice caught on the last phrase. The Kai thought she detected a hint of frustration--and anger--as well as sadness. "I feel only with the help of the Orb will I be able to find the answers I am looking for."

"There is no guarantee, even with the Orb." The Kai exhaled sharply as she thought back to her own most recent experience asking what she should do to ensure the safety of her people; even dark riddles would have been preferable to silence. "What do you seek? Why must such an attempt be on the station, instead of within the precincts of the Sacred Temple here on Bajor?" She attempted a conciliatory tone. "I make no promises, but perhaps I can intervene with the College of Vedeks and allow you to pass on your question--"

"No," interrupted the Major. "It must be on the station, in the small shrine there, within closer proximity to the Celestial Temple, the dwelling of the Prophets. And I must do this personally, not through any intermediary."

"What do you seek?" the Kai pressed once more.

The Major pursed her lips together. "I have told you all I can, Eminence."

It was the Kai's turn to frown. "If you have any hope of seeing your request granted, you must explain yourself further."

"I cannot."

"Were circumstances different, I would say it's almost as if you don't trust me," the Kai said with a forced laugh. 

The Major's silence spoke volumes. 

"Very well," the Kai said coldly. "With no additional explanation forthcoming, I regret to say I cannot accede to your request at this time."

The Major took a step forward; all indifference was gone from her expression. "Eminence, you have no idea what a terrible mistake you're making," she said urgently.

"Oh, I believe I know exactly what I am doing," the Kai said in a low voice. She would tolerate no threats--unspoken or not--from this woman. "It is not _I_ who need to have faith in _you_ , Major." In response to her signal, Solber entered the room almost immediately. "The Major was just leaving," she said to her aide. "Please see her out."

"Yes, Your Eminence."

The Major gave her one last bitter look before allowing herself to be led away.

Alone once more, the Kai attempted to continue her work but found it difficult to concentrate. The sheer insolence! She took a few deep breaths, striving to calm herself. She could not afford the luxury of anger right now. There was something else wrong--of that she had no doubts--but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. The Kai pressed a hidden control on her desk, and watched as the scene was replayed. 

_It's as if you don't trust me._

_You have no idea what a terrible mistake you're making._

Yes, there was something about the Major's demeanor which had nagged at her throughout, in hindsight it was quite easy to see she was definitely hiding something. The Major had the reputation for heroism during the Occupation, but suddenly the Kai wondered if the woman was working against the interests of Bajor, perhaps even against the Prophets. Some of her associations--former terrorists, enemies of the state, even Cardassians--were highly questionable. The Major would bear closer watching. 

Perhaps she would also drop a subtle hint to Captain Sisko about Major Winn Adami's suspect loyalties. 

A gong sounded in the distance, the summons for the twilight prayer services. Kai Kira Nerys took a moment to compose herself before going on to the Temple.


	5. Charity

She hesitated outside the tailor's shop, unsure why she was there. Catching sight of her reflection in the window, she grimaced automatically and wondered, as she always did, how long it would take her to get used to the alien features staring back at her. Taking a deep breath, she crossed the threshold.

Garak looked up at the small chime that announced the presence of a customer. "My dear Major Ki--" He interrupted himself with a laugh. "My dear _Iliana Ghemor_ , how nice of you to drop by! And may I say how lovely you're looking these days. Not that you weren't lovely before, but this is an even greater improvement."

"Shut up," she said brusquely.

"I'm delighted to see you as well." Garak cast a critical eye on the gold-colored tunic he had been working on, then put it down with a satisfied nod. "What brings you back to the station? Visiting old friends?"

As if he didn't know the full details of her family's hurried departure from Cardassia and Captain Sisko's offer of helping them gain asylum elsewhere. "My father --" she stumbled a bit over the phrase; in her mind the image conjured up was still of Kira Taban -- "would have suggested it, anyway. He thought it would be a good idea."

"Ah, closure." Garak nodded wisely. "An excellent idea, as you try to accept you're not the person you thought you were for so many years. That in fact you are someone else entirely, a member of a race you've hated for as long as you could remember."

Iliana clenched her fists at his mocking tone. "I hated the Cardassians for what they did to my people--to the Bajorans." It was still difficult to remember that the years in the Singha refugee camp--the privations and beatings--were all a fiction. And yet, as 'Kira', a member of the Resistance, she had witnessed first-hand other scenes of equally appalling brutality.

Garak eyed her appraisingly. "I have more than an academic interest as you know, but I've never seen such a thorough conditioning job where the operative's memories are so completely subjugated." He paused. "But not removed entirely?"

"No, not removed entirely," she admitted, turning to peruse a collection of dresses on a nearby rack. "Once I got over the shock--and once the Obsidian Order's mental block was broken--I remembered who I was, my childhood, my family. And what led me to serve in the Order to begin with. But at the same time..."

"At the same time, you were Kira Nerys for so many years," he said softly. "You built a life for yourself."

"It felt so real," she whispered.

"It _was_ real."

"That's what Captain Sisko said."

Iliana had dreaded the return to the station, even as she was aware she and her father had nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to if they hoped to escape with their lives. Legate Ghemor's ties to the dissident movement had made it too dangerous to remain on Cardassia. As expected, Sisko had been most helpful, as well as sympathetic to what she was going through. He had told her how concerned everyone on the station had been when 'Major Kira' had disappeared six weeks earlier, how they had worked around the clock to determine the identity of her kidnappers and locate her. What he had _not_ said, however, was how hurt and betrayed they had felt upon learning her true identity. Sisko had glossed over that part entirely, brushed off her halting apologies for having deceived him. "You were a victim yourself," he'd told her kindly but firmly. "You had no inkling what had been done to you, of your identity, and you served the interests of Bajor and the Federation these past several years faithfully and well."

"It was so hard, seeing everyone again," she said now, unsure whether she was speaking to Garak, or to herself. "Dax, Bashir, O'Brien--and Odo. We met for lunch at Quark's today." Iliana gave a bitter laugh. "Just like old times."

"That must have been awkward."

"Actually, it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. I was afraid they'd blame me for deceiving them, that they'd shy away from me knowing what I truly was. But they didn't."

An amused expression crossed Garak's face. "Of course not. The Federation has always prided itself on its remarkable open-mindedness in dealing with other species."

She brushed aside his words. "But the reality was, _I_ was the one with the problem. I'm the one who can't accept that Cardassians have done so much evil." 

"I'm sure the estimable Captain Sisko would ask if you're responsible for the collective guilt of your people."

"I'm not," Iliana said immediately. "The only actions I have any control over are my own."

"There you go." Garak busied himself behind the counter.

"But one thing I _am_ guilty of is the deception, the fraud I've perpetrated for the last 10 years, presenting myself as someone I wasn't." Iliana took a deep breath. "The 'real' Kira was killed during the raid on the Gallitep labor camp in 2357. My entire life since then has been nothing more than a lie."

"Such is the life of any operative. Did anyone make any accusations?"

"No." _I almost wish they would have_ , she thought. "They were all very charitable toward me."

Tactfully changing the subject, Garak asked, "How is Legate Ghemor?"

"About as well as can be expected." No longer a young man, Ghemor had nonetheless taken a disrupter blast meant for her during their chaotic escape. She'd tended him the best she could on the runabout but had still been very grateful to reach the medical facilities on DS9. "Dr. Bashir expects to release him from the infirmary tomorrow morning."

"And then you'll be on your way, I suppose?"

"Yes." Iliana went over to another display, and absently picked up a blue scarf. "Captain Sisko has arranged asylum with the Mathenites."

"I think the green is a better choice." Garak handed it to her. "Yes, much better. Forgive me, but I find it more than a little surprising the Obsidian Order allowed you to leave. After all, they had just chosen to recall you after a decade of deep-cover assignment." 

Allowed. Iliana had a wild urge to laugh. "I'm hardly the first member of the Order to break with them," she said, making a pointed reference to Garak's own situation. "At any rate, I had no intention of cooperating. I may be Cardassian, but I am also 'Kira' and as such could not betray the people I've known and loved for all this time."

"It sounds like your loyalties, if not your memories, are more than a bit muddled," Garak said wryly.

"I was recruited for the Order originally because of my family ties, as the daughter of a well-connected officer," Iliana said, putting down the scarf. "And I agreed, out of duty to my family, and for a chance to serve the world of my birth, which my father had always impressed on me was one of culture, of science and the arts. He used to say Cardassia's military lifestyle had been forced on it out of necessity and he was working toward a goal of seeing that ideal restored one day. Getting our people back on track. But it didn't work out that way. "

"Some would accuse your father of romanticizing the past."

Unspoken was the implication that her father's activities had led them to exile--if not death. "Perhaps. But it's a more attractive image than the present."

"Perhaps."

Iliana glanced at the large ornate chrono on the wall. No other customers had come in all the time she had been there. The business day was ending; Garak probably wanted to lock up his shop. She didn't know why she still lingered. "Leaving Cardassia again somehow doesn't hurt as much as leaving DS9," she said suddenly.

"It's understandable, but given time and the fading of your 'other life', you may feel differently." 

She looked at Garak for a long moment. "If you could go back, would you?" 

Garak smiled, a bit sadly. "In a heartbeat." 

"I envy you." She paused, thinking of Sisko's offer to let her stay on the station. "I don't really know what 'home' is anymore. But I do know, in a sense I can never go home, back to the way things were, again." 

Garak leaned forward, as if about to impart a confidence. "What makes you think it's different for anyone else?"


End file.
